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(Best of Bozo)Bozo criminal for today comes from Charlotte, North Carolina where bozo Greg Worthy broke into a 65 year old woman’s home and demanded money. The woman convinced our bozo that she had no money in the house but she would be glad to write him a check. But before she could do that, she would have to see some identification. He showed her his drivers license. After copying the information from it, she gave him a check and showed him the door. She then called the cops who went to the address she gave them and there they found our bozo, check in hand. He’s been arrested.

(Best of Bozo) Bozo criminal for today comes from Memphis, Tennessee, where bozo Allen Glazier was caught driving a stolen Greyhound bus. Our bozo stole his first bus in Kansas, drove it to Jackson, Mississippi, where he stole another bus, drove it to Baton Rouge, Louisiana, and stole yet another Greyhound and drove it to Memphis. Don’t know what he’s been doing for gas on the other buses, but it was a little stop at a truck stop that got him in trouble this time. After filling up the bus, our bozo told the attendant to "Bill it to Greyhound." While our bozo was waiting for his receipt, the cops were called.

(Best of Bozo) Bozo criminal for today comes from Slidell, Louisiana, where bozo Darryl Evans called the 911 operator and told her he needed help from the police in getting his mother to cook him a pork chop dinner. When the operator told him 911 was for emergencies only, he told her this was an emergency, he really wanted that pork chop dinner. The operator again politely tried to get off the line. Our bozo refused to shut up and finally became abusive to the operator. So the police were sent to his home, and he was arrested for disorderly conduct. Maybe they’re serving pork chops in jail this week.

(Best of Bozo) Bozo criminal for today comes from Kansas City, Missouri, where bozo Lawrence Kimbrough was a night clerk at a convenience store. It was while working the late shift that our bozo hatched his plan. (And after hearing the details, you may think he was half asleep when he came up with it!) He put tape over the lenses of the store’s security cameras, took the money from the cash registers, stashed it in a trash bin behind the store, and called the cops to report an armed robbery. Officers investigating the robbery quickly figured out what our bozo had done…He placed tape over the lenses of the security cameras, that’s true. Unfortunately, he used transparent tape. Everything he did was caught on video.

(Best of Bozo) Bozo criminal for today comes from Blaine, Washington, where bozo James Barker made his first mistake when he accepted a job from a marijuana farmer to haul off 38 bags full of marijuana leaves, stems and potting soil. Instead of hauling the stuff to the dump about six miles away from the farm, our bozo headed toward the U.S./Canadian border. That’s mistake two. He then got into the express lane for frequent border crossers, where vehicles without a special sticker are automatically pulled over for inspections. And that’s strike three, as the agents searched our bozo’s truck and found the dope. Do you think maybe he smoked a little of the stuff before he headed to the dump?

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Gregg Hanke for sending in today’s report. From Plainville, Connecticut comes the story of bozo Jack Painter who was planning to hold up the local Dairy Mart. And as part of his plan, just before pulling the holdup, he called 911 to report a robbery in progress at another Dairy Mart across town, thinking the cops would go to that location and he would have clear sailing to pull off his heist. And the plan might have worked, too, except for one thing. Instead of giving them the address of the Dairy Mart across town, he messed up and gave them the address of the one he was going to rob. The cops showed up just as he was pulling the heist and arrested him on the spot.

Bozo criminal for today comes from West Paterson, New Jersey where bozo Ernest Costello held up a bank but it seems he didn’t have a clear exit strategy. In fact, he was so desperate, he asked a bank employee to call him a cab. She did. But she also called the cops. He’s under arrest.

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Chris Blake for sending in today’s report. From the International File in Newbridge, Ireland comes the story of bozo Thomas Sheerin who broke into a house by climbing in through a bedroom window. This woke up the homeowner who shouted, "Who’s there?" to which our bozo replied, "It’s me, Tommy," before fleeing. And since the owner recognized the voice as that of his neighbor, the cops were able to make a quick arrest.

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report. Bozo criminal for today comes from the International File in Hamburg, Germany, where an unidentified bozo tried to shoplift some wine, some candy and an energy drink from a convenience store. Unknown to him, a 100 man police unit was outside the store taking a break on their way from Southern Germany to Hamburg for a major assignment. And through the glass wall of the store, they saw everything that was going on. When our bozo walked out of the store, he was surrounded by policemen.

Bozo criminal for today might have been able to get away with this in Italy, but not in the good old USA. From Indianapolis, Indiana comes the story of bozo Alan Robertson who was riding his bicycle in the downtown area. He approached a woman, also on a bicycle and as he passed by he pinched her on the behind. Bad idea. The woman was a deputy probation officer. A police officer nearby saw what had happened and our bozo was quickly corralled and placed under arrest.

Bozo criminal for today comes form Naples, Florida where bozo Duane Harrigan worked at a convenience store. He was caught by the store manager, scratching off a stack of not yet purchased lottery tickets. When confronted, our bozo calmly took his stack of tickets and left the store. The manager called the cops and as they were there writing up the incident, our bozo returned, to ask for his paycheck. He didn’t get it. He’s under arrest.

Bozo criminal for today comes from the Mile High Club. Bozo Lee Richards downed nearly a bottle of vodka before boarding an easyJet flight from Alicante, Spain to Bristol, England. Once onboard, he got into a disagreement with another passenger. As the argument got more heated, our bozo, forgetting where he was, challenged the other man to "step outside" to settle things…at 25,000 feet. Flight attendants were able to subdue him before he made it to the door. He’s facing disorderly conduct charges.

Bozo criminals for today come from Springfield, Massachusetts where two bozos stole a 1995 Honda from in front of a residence. Guess it must not have been kept in a garage because instead of heading home with the car, our bozos took it down to the neighborhood car wash. Not the best idea. The owner of the car happened to be passing by when he noticed his car waiting in line to be washed. He called the cops who were there when the car emerged from the wash and wax. Guess you could say they didn’t make a "clean" getaway.

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report. From the International File in Solingen, Germany comes the story of an unidentified bozo who forced a man in a train station to hand over his wallet. After taking the cash, our bozo meant to hand the empty wallet back to the victim. But, somehow, in all the commotion, our bozo got mixed up and handed him his own wallet. And of course it contained his name and address. The victim turned the wallet over to the cops who quickly arrested our bozo.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Bozeman, Montana where bozo David Langston called 911 to report his house was being robbed. When the police arrived, our bozo directed them to the closet where he said the robber was hiding. The cops took a look inside and found no burglar. But they did find a couple of marijuana plants our bozo had hidden in there. Oops. He’s under arrest.

Bozo criminals for today come from Everett, Washington, where three bozos noticed a woman taking pictures with a nice camera. They walked up and one of them grabbed it right out of her hands. Bad idea. She was an undercover cop doing surveillance and backup officers immediately swarmed over them, grabbing one immediately. The second bozo briefly fled on foot, dropping incriminating evidence along the way, including a gun, drugs and other stolen items. After the cops corralled him, they turned their attention to bozo number three who fled in a pickup truck. After he was cornered, he jumped out and tried to run, but forgot to put the truck into park. It ran over him. All three are in jail.

Bozo criminal for today comes from the International File in Dusseldorf, Germany where bozo Marko Nunni was already waiting outside the bank before it opened up one morning. Dressed in shorts, a sleeveless shirt and a woolen hat, he attracted quite a bit of attention as he spent three hours outside, pacing around, working up the courage to go in. When he finally entered, he pulled his hat down over his face but he couldn’t see a thing because he had cut the eye holes in the wrong place. Ripping off the cap in frustration, he walked right past a security camera on the way to the teller, who he threatened with a cigarette lighter shaped like a pistol. She simply told him to get out, which he did, only to be arrested by police officers waiting outside. At his trial, the judge did a Simon Cowell on him, telling him he should find another line of work, since he was clearly unsuited for robbing banks.

Many times our bozos have left behind their ID, their wallet or even a paycheck at the scene of the crime, but our bozo for today "breaks" new ground. From the International File in Berlin, Germany comes the story of an unidentified bozo who broke into the house of an 80 year old woman and stole her life savings, almost $27,000 in cash. But, the police had no trouble catching up with him. It seems he pulled the heist on his way home from the hospital where he had been receiving treatment for a broken arm. And in his haste to get away, he left his X-rays, complete with his name and address, behind. He’s under arrest.

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Renata Hawks for sending in today’s report. Our bozo for today, from Whitefish Bay, Wisconsin, violated Bozo Rule Number 0737: Go before you leave. Bozo Otha Simon broke into a house in the middle of the night and was rummaging around when he had to answer the call of nature. At about that same time 19 year old Dewey Coulson woke up and noticed a light on in the bedroom. Thinking someone had forgotten to turn it off, Dewey got up and opened the door, catching our bozo in the act, so to speak. Dewey ran upstairs to get his stepfather. They tackled our bozo as he was heading for the door and held him until the cops came.

Bozo criminal for today gets extra credit for originality. From Kansas City, Missouri comes the story of bozo Wesley Fitzgerald who was on parole for several offenses and was required to meet with his parole officer weekly. Apparently, this was just too often for Wesley, so he hatched a bozo scheme. He applied for and was granted a temporary restraining order against a woman he claimed was stalking him. That woman was his parole officer. When he showed up at a hearing to make the restraining order permanent, the judge put two and two together and realized what was going on. He won’t have to worry about seeing her for a while. He’s back in jail.