Bozo criminal for today comes from DeQueen, Arkansas where bozo Sebastian Navarro was arrested and charged with drunken driving. Seeking to keep the arrest off his record, he identified himself as his brother. His plan might have worked out OK except for one little thing. When it came time to call someone to bail him out of jail, he contacted the same brother to come down to the station house. Busted!
Bozo criminal for today comes from Middlefield, Ohio where Robert Potter knew the stereo system in his car was a cheap one, and had even made plans to replace it. But bozo John Martin changed all that. Our bozo broke into Mr. Potter’s car and stole the stereo. After giving it a listen, he found that it really was a lousy system and decided to bring it back. He was caught on security cameras twice. First, when he stole the system and second, when he tried to put it back into the car. He’s under arrest.
Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Randy Shereda for sending in today’s report. From Suffolk County, New York comes the story of bozo Calvin Maloney who drove over to the county jail to visit a friend. The officer at the desk asked our bozo to show his drivers license for identification. When he replied that he had no license, the officer noted that he had just seen him drive up. That’s when our bozo said, "It’s suspended. A lot." He wasn’t kidding. A quick check of the records found that he had 31 suspensions. He won’t have to worry about driving for a while. A further check found an outstanding warrant on another driving related incident.
Bozo criminal for today comes from our Wrong Place, Wrong Time Department in the International File in St. George, Queensland, Australia. Two unidentified bozos checked into the Merino Motel with big plans for setting up a meth lab in their room. Guess they didn’t think about the smell attracting someone’s attention. And guess they didn’t check to see what was scheduled at the motel for that weekend. A police district conference with dozens of officers in attendance. Busted!
Bozo criminal for today comes from Miami, Florida where bozo Gene Brown robbed a Wendy’s restaurant. During the heist the bandanna covering his face fell off. In spite of the wardrobe malfunction, he got away with a little cash. He returned to the same Wendy’s four days later, not to rob the place again, but to order himself three junior cheeseburgers and then argue with the clerk about getting incorrect change. Maybe he shouldn’t have called so much attention to himself. Almost every worker in the place recognized him. The cops were called and he was arrested.
Bozo criminal for today comes from the International File in Amsterdam, Holland. A French tourist was accosted by an unidentified bozo who tried to snatch his bag. After regaining possession of his bag, the tourist ran into a nearby building. Much to his surprise, our bozo came in after him. Poor decision on his part. The tourist had run into a police station, a fact our bozo realized a little too late. He’s under arrest.
Bozo criminal for today comes from the International File in Mostar, Bosnia where lovesick bozo Mladen Krajulj planted five explosive devices in the city. The bombs went off near a local restaurant, causing property damage but no injuries. It was after the police arrested our bozo that he assured his place in the Bozo Hall of Fame. He told the cops his girlfriend had left his hometown and had moved to the city, accepting a waitress job in the restaurant that was damaged. He said he set off the bombs to show his girlfriend that it was unsafe in the city and that she should return home and marry him. But hold on, it worked. She has accepted and will marry him after he serves ten months jail time.
Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Michael Moore for sending in today’s report. From the International File in Berlin, Germany comes the story of an unidentified bozo who tried to pull off a heist just like he had seen it done on TV. He stuck his credit card in the door of a residence and tried to use it to jimmy the lock. Unfortunately, in real life, those credit cards aren’t that tough and his broke off inside the door. And the part that fell inside the house was the part with his name and account number on it. Busted! Police tracked him down and made the arrest.
Bozo criminals for today come from the International File in Burila Mare, Romania. Our band of bozos raided a woman’s stable and stole two cows. Wanting to be sure that the police couldn’t follow a trail of cow footprints, our bozos carefully strapped rubber booties on the cows’ hooves. Guess they didn’t realize the cops could still follow the footprints, even though they weren’t hoofprints. And that’s just what they did, directly to our bozos’ residence, where they were arrested for rustling.
Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report. From North Miami Beach, Florida comes the story of bozo Abdul Mafood who was waiting for friends outside a restaurant when he saw a couple of police officers walking toward the place. Being a polite sort, he graciously opened the doors for them, greeting them as they prepared to enter. Unfortunately, when he removed his hand from his pocket to open the door, out fell a small plastic bag of cocaine. Oops. And when the officers checked his other pockets, they found a baggie of marijuana. Busted!
Bozo criminal for today comes from Winona, Wisconsin where bozo Jason Kowalski liked ladies underwear. Really, really liked ladies underwear. He broke into a residence and stole several unmentionables, stuffing them into his pants as he headed for the door. Unfortunately for him, police had been called to a report of a prowler and they were nearby when he jumped on his bicycle and tried to flee. The cops had no problem tracking him down, they just followed a trail of underwear that fell from our bozos pants as he pedaled. He’s under arrest.
(Best of Bozo) Bozo criminal for today comes from Stanberry, Missouri, where bozo Michael Massey was caught trying to steal six 350 pound commercial electrical tansformers from the local power company. It was his reason for stealing them that landed him in the Bozo Hall of Fame. He told the cops he needed the transformers to power his home-built time machine. He said he wanted to travel a few days into the future, learn the winning lottery numbers and return to buy the winning ticket.
(Best of Bozo) Bozo criminal for today comes from Canton, Ohio. Bozo Daniel Fogelman, for reasons known only to the bozo mind, was walking down the street, carrying a marijuana plant. He walked up to another pedestrian and said, "Would you believe I’m walking down the street in the middle of the day with this pot plant?" The pedestrian answered, "Would you believe I’m a cop?" Oops. He’d chosen to speak to a plainclothes detective returning from court. He’s been arrested.
(Best of Bozo) Bozo criminal for today comes from Marshall County, Indiana, where bozo Christopher Adams was pulled over for a minor traffic offense. While talking to our bozo, the officer couldn’t help but notice his bright orange T-shirt, which read, "Fugitive. You never saw me." Playing a hunch, the officer ran our bozo’s name through his computer and, sure enough, he was a fugitive, wanted for failure to appear at a court hearing. He’s now wearing a completely different orange outfit, this one provided by the county jail.
(Best of Bozo) Bozo criminal for today comes from the International File in Bruno d’ Asti, Italy, where Carlo Brunelli held up a post office at gunpoint, fleeing with about $5,000. Postal employees quickly locked the door after our bozo fled and watched in amazement as he got into his car, sat there for a moment and then ran back to the door. Finding it locked, he began to shout for them to please let him in, as he’d left his car keys inside. Sorry, Carlo. He was still crying and begging to be let back in when the police arrived.
(Best of Bozo) Bozo criminal for today violated Bozo Rule Number 2346: You should always be suspicious when your victims are a little too helpful. From the International File in Tsu, Japan, comes the story of an unidentified bozo who marched into a bank and demanded cash. The teller and several other employees said the really big money was in the vault, and if he would just step this way … They led him to the bank’s main vault, and when he went inside to grab his cash, they slammed the door shut on him, locking him inside. And that’s where he remained until the police arrived.
Bozo criminal for today comes from Titusville, Florida where bozo Garrett Norman broke into a residence, getting away with a few items and leaving one item of his own behind. The police were called and were investigating when our bozo returned…to retrieve his cell phone which he had left inside the house. He’s under arrest.
Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Laura Davidson for sending in today’s report. From Troutdale, Oregon comes the story of a couple of bozos who decided they needed some beer. So, they contacted each other on their nifty little walkie talkies and agreed to meet at a local convenience store. This wouldn’t have been a problem except for one thing. Those little walkie talkies were actually police two way radios that our bozos had stolen. And since they were still using the police frequency, their get together plans were overheard by police officers who were waiting for our bozos at the store when they arrived. Busted!
Bozo criminals for today come from Brandon, Florida where three bozos were trying for a late night break in of a residence. As they were fumbling with the door, trying to jimmy it open with a pocket knife, one of them rang the doorbell. Oops. The suspicious homeowner called the cops and our bozos were quickly arrested.
Bozo criminal for today comes from Chandler, Arizona where bozo Jonathan Wilson had himself a little meth lab in his condo, cooking up the stuff in his closet using a toaster oven. This probably wasn’t the safest setup as the toaster caught fire and the condo was soon engulfed in flames. Our bozo first tried to put the fire out with water and then window cleaner with no success. So, with his house on fire, he did what any bozo would do. He drove down to Wal Mart to buy a fire extinguisher. While he was away, the fire department arrived and, upon discovering the lab, called the cops. Our bozo didn’t even get to try out the fire extinguisher. He was arrested when he returned home.