Recent Posts

Bozo criminal for Valentine’s Day comes from the International File in Nanchang, China. Our bozo had recently been set up on a date with a lovely young woman that he really wanted to impress. And since he had no transportation of his own, he stole a motorcycle from in front of a supermarket the evening before they were scheduled to meet. When he arrived for his date the next day, she was furious. Not because he was late and not because he wasn’t properly dressed. Because that motorcycle he had stolen the day before belonged to her. Oops. Not exactly the best way to start your first date. He’s under arrest.

Bozo criminals for today come from the International File on the Poland-Belarus border. Our two bozos, who were Egyptian immigrants, wanted to leave Belarus and go to Poland, but they had no passports. So, they took the bozo approach. They decided to tunnel out. Afraid that purchasing shovels would attract attention, our two bozos used shoehorns to try to dig under the barbed wire separating the two countries. They did succeed in digging quite a hole, but somewhere along the way they lost their sense of direction. When they popped to the surface, they were still in Belarus, right in front of the barbed wire and in plain view of the border guards. They’re under arrest.

Bozo criminal for today from Boulder, Colorado, wanted to get into the drug manufacturing business, but somewhere along the way he must have forgotten that the drugs he was going to make were illegal. First, he set up a Pay Pal account to pay for the raw ingredients he needed, using his own Master Card account. Then, he set up an Ebay account, giving his e-mail address as "freebasing @hotmail.com". And finally, he purchased the chemicals and laboratory equipment he needed and had them shipped directly to his home. Needless to say, all his mistakes sent up numerous red flags. Police were waiting with a search warrant shortly after everything arrived. Busted!

Bozo criminal for today comes from Goldonna, Louisiana, where bozo Charles Nolan wanted to print up some counterfeit spending money. And since he didn’t have a computer, he came up with the ultimate bozo scheme. He broke into a house and went to work on their computer, setting it up to print his money. And like any computer endeavor, it took longer than he planned. A neighbor noticed a suspicious car outside the house and called the cops. He’s been charged with burglary and counterfeiting.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Boston, Massachusetts, where bozo Damon Harper took a car for a test drive at a local dealership. When the salesman got out to do paperwork, our bozo took off. After driving around for a while, he realized that he must have left his wallet at the dealership. So, he did what any bozo would do under the same circumstances. He called them and offered a deal: He’d return the car if they’d give him his wallet back and not call the cops. This is one deal they wouldn’t make. He’s under arrest.

Bozo criminals for today come from Rumford, Maine, where two DEA agents had just completed a bust at a marijuana growing operation. They were headed back to headquarters with 10 large confiscated marijuana plants bundled up in the back of their pickup. It was while they were stopped at a light that our two bozos pulled up behind them. Not being able to resist temptation, one bozo jumped out and broke a branch off one of the plants. Guess he thought the driver wouldn’t notice. He couldn’t have been more wrong. He’s been charged with both theft and drug possession.

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Fred McKinney for sending in today’s report. From Redwood City, California, comes the story of bozo Eric Munson who held up the Bank of America branch, getting away with $1900. Our bozo fled the scene and then abandoned his getaway car a few miles down the road. Which might have been a good idea except for a couple of things. First, he robbed the bank wearing his work clothes, a hard hat and vest, both of which were emblazoned with the name of the electric company he worked for. And second, he left those clothes, along with his photo ID from his employer inside the car. And the photo on the ID matched the photo taken by bank security cameras perfectly. He’s busted.

Bozo criminal for today comes from East Naples, Florida where bozo Joann Olson was having a bad hair day. Responding to an alarm, the police found her inside the neighborhood hair salon, clad in a housecoat, pajamas, slippers and yellow dishwashing gloves. She told the cops that she had broken into the salon because they gave her a bad haircut and she was going to steal enough money from them to get her hair fixed. And to add insult to injury, after she was arrested her husband told the cops she had broken into the wrong hair salon. Wait ’til she sees the haircut she’ll get in prison.

Bozo criminal for today from Columbus, Nebraska, learned the hard way that "Let’s Make a Deal" only works when you’re Monty Hall. Bozo Juan Lara walked into a convenience store and tried to purchase cigarettes, a lighter and a cigar only to discover that he had no cash. He then reached into his pocket and whipped out a baggie of marijuana and offered to trade the pot for the merchandise. No deal, the clerk replied. Our bozo told him he would be back with the cash shortly. He left the store and buried the pot in a snowdrift within plain sight of the clerk, who called the cops. Our bozo was pacing back in forth in front of the store, trying to figure out a way to come up with the cash when the cops arrived. Busted!

Bozo criminal for today from Dodge County, Wisconsin, made it easy on the cops. Bozo Pam Davis was driving her husband home from a local bar when he pointed out to her that she also might be a little too drunk to drive. And that’s when she decided to call 911 to tell them of her situation. She also told the dispatcher her name, type of vehicle, location and estimated time of arrival home. She made it home safely only to be arrested by police officers who were waiting for her. And there may be one other bozo at work here…the dispatcher who didn’t tell her to immediately pull over.

Bozo criminal for today perhaps should have taken the bus. From Roseberg, Oregon, comes the story of bozo car thief Ernesto Pool, who had a bad day. First, he stole a pickup from the Chevrolet lot, only going a short distance before a tire blew. He jumped out of the truck and into a Subaru he found parked in a nearby driveway. He had that car for about 15 minutes before the engine overheated, causing it to catch fire. A passerby rushed over with a fire extinguisher, leaving his own car unattended. Our bozo jumped into this car and sped away, not getting very far before he ran over some spike strips placed in his path by the cops. This caused him to skid off the road where the cops found him and placed him under arrest.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Port St. Lucie, Florida where bozo college student Joseph Burris was in a big hurry to turn in a term paper. He wheeled into the parking lot, dodged his way through several parked cars and almost ran over one person. He was then arrested. What we forgot to mention is that, instead of turning into the community college parking lot, he turned into the local police department parking lot. Those cars he almost hit were police cruisers. And the person he almost ran over was a police sergeant. He’s been charged with drunk driving. No word on what grade he got on his term paper.

Bozo criminal for today comes from New York City, where bozo Jose Lopez shoplifted a pendant and a large ring from a jewelry booth at Bryant Park. Our bozo must have really liked the items, because he was wearing both pieces when he stopped by the booth again the very next day. The clerk recognized the hot merchandise and alerted security who arrested our fashionable bozo as he made his way to a nearby restaurant.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Justin, Texas, where bozo Rusty Travis had just been set free on criminal trespass charges. It just so happened that he was walking by a police patrol car at the exact instant the officer used his keyless remote to unlock the doors. Noticing that the keys were in the ignition of the cruiser, he did what any fun loving bozo would do. He jumped in, right in front of the officer, and took off on a joy ride. Not the best idea. He’s back under arrest.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Roanoke, Virginia, where bozo Mitchell Warner broke into a uniform and linen business. He did a little damage while inside and left without taking much of anything of value. Unfortunately, he left something very valuable behind. He had used his drivers license to jimmy the lock open and somehow the license got stuck in the door jam. He left it behind when he left. The cops found it and used it to quickly find and arrest our bozo.

Bozo criminals for today come from Shirley, New York, where our bozos held up the local Dairy Barn just before lunchtime and escaped on foot. Officers quickly arrived and began looking for them. They soon spotted a pair that matched the description and one of them had something else that convinced the cops they had the right guys. He was walking down the street with cash sticking out of his pockets. Busted!

Bozo Criminal for today comes from the International File in Warsaw, Poland. Our unidentified bozo was without a watch and the clock in his car wasn’t working, and he really needed to know the time. So, he did what seemed to be the logical thing. He stopped and asked a police officer what time it was. One big problem. He was obviously intoxicated and the officer immediately told him he was under arrest for drunk driving. Our bozo tried to speed off but unfortunately the first turn he made was directly into the police impound lot, where the automatic gate closed behind him, locking him inside. He’s under arrest.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Apple Valley, Minnesota, where bozo Edward Hall called the cops to report a burglary at his home, but was hesitant to tell them what, if anything, had been stolen. The investigating officer noticed that the bedroom had been ransacked and a locked closet had been broken into. He thought it was a little suspicious that our bozo kept insisting that he couldn’t tell if anything had been stolen from the closet. Then the officer noticed scraps of paper on the closet floor that contained names, dates and weights of drug transactions. Knowing that he was busted, our bozo confessed that what had been stolen, that he didn’t want to talk about, was his marijuana stash. But, he told the officer, he only sold to his friends. He’s been charged with drug dealing.

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Russ Fox for sending in today’s report. From Miami, Florida comes the story of a couple of bozo gang bangers who were so confident of their toughness that they posted a video on You Tube bragging about their exploits, showing off their guns and challenging the cops to come after them, if they dared. They dared. Our bozos are under arrest.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Ossining, New York, where bozo Blake Land broke into a minimart at around 3:30 AM. A neighbor heard a crashing sound inside the store and called the cops, who arrived and caught our bozo in the act. He made a run for it and tried to hide between several nearby buildings. This might have been a good idea except that the nearby buildings were part of the famous Sing Sing Prison. Oops. A guard nabbed him and he was placed under arrest.