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Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report. From White Plains, New York, comes the story of bozo Martin Fulmer who was arrested on disorderly conduct charges. When he was taken to the police station for booking, he became agitated and began to take off all his clothes, right there in front of the officers. This is not a good idea under any circumstances, but it’s especially bad when you have a baggie of marijuana hidden in your underwear, which fell out as he was doing hs strip tease. He’s busted!

Bozo criminal for today comes from our Just Desserts File. From Copiague, New York, comes the story of bozo Frank Palmer who was riding his motorcycle when he spotted a police cruiser. For reasons known only to the bozo mind, he thought the cops might appreciate his next trick. He made an obscene gesture and then popped a wheelie on his motorcycle and sped away, with the cops in hot pursuit. Trying to shake them, he turned into a parking lot where he promptly crashed…into another police cruiser that was preparing to join the chase. After being treated for minor injuries, he was placed under arrest.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Cheyenne, Wyoming, where bozo Eric Livingston was enrolled in a work release program while serving his sentence on a burglary conviction. Everything was going fine until one day our bozo didn’t return from his day job. Police had no leads as to his whereabouts until he contacted his former employer to ask them to forward his final check to his new address in New Hampshire. Oops. They called the cops who used the info to track down and arrest our bozo.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Manchester, New Hampshire, where bozo Tiffany Bowman made it easy for the cops to arrest her. She brought along her own evidence. Our bozo pulled into a parking lot, with the "No Parking" sign and post from her last parking attempt still attached to the front end of the car. Police were called and, when they arrived, they found our bozo sound asleep in the driver’s seat. She’s been charged with DUI and possession of marijuana.

The high price of gas continues to cause more problems for our bozos. From Lambertville, Michigan, comes the story of bozo arsonist Robert Mills who needed some gas to carry out another crime. Not wanting to spend his hard earned money on gas, he decided to simply siphon some out of a parked car. Unfortunately, the car he chose to siphon from was an unmarked police car that was in the neighborhood on a stakeout to catch our bozo the arsonist. And did we mention there were officers inside the car when he approached with a bucket and hose? He’s under arrest.

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Barbara Goldstein for sending in today’s report. With gas and food prices rising, our bozos have had to raise their sights as well. From Fort Worth, Texas, comes the story of a bozo who may have set the bar a little too high. Bozo Charles Farley wanted to start his own record label and he needed a little operating capital. So he tried to cash a phony check at his local bank. A phony check for $360 billion dollars. (Wonder if he asked for small bills?) Needless to say, all the zeros attracted a little attention from the teller, who stalled him while calling the cops. He’s been charged with fraud and possession of marijuana.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Lake Charles, Louisiana, where police officers pulled over a car they suspected was stolen, so they called the registered owner and left a message. And that’s when the problems really began for the car’s owner. For reasons known only to the Bozo Brain, she thought the message was from her drug dealer, so when she returned the call, she told the cops she’d like to buy $150 in crack. Busted!

Bozo criminal for today comes from the International File in Tauranga, New Zealand, where our bozo team planned to take advantage of the high cost of metals by robbing a scrap metal firm. One of our bozos went inside while the second one waited in the getaway car a short distance away. Our first bozo ran into trouble when he tripped a burglar alarm and was collared by the cops. While they were talking to him, his buddy wondered what was going on and sent him a text message, asking if he was ready for him to come pick him up. The cops texted back that sure, they were ready. Ready to arrest him when he arrived.

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Randy Shereda for sending in today’s report. From Cleveland, Ohio, comes the story of bozo Travis Brown who carjacked a vehicle and then didn’t know how to get out of town. When he spotted a TV news crew filming on a downtown street, he stopped and asked the reporter for directions. His victim signaled to the reporter that he was being carjacked and our bozo took off, with the TV crew in hot pursuit. They gave their exact location to 911 and our bozo not only ended up arrested but the top story on the evening news.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Louisville, Kentucky. What bozo Joshua Mitchell did would have attracted attention under any circumstances, but with the price of gas being what it is, it assured his induction into the Bozo Hall of Fame. Convenience store employees say our bozo walked up to the pumps and began to try to pump gas into an imaginary car (wonder what kind of mileage it gets?). The cops arrived before he had a chance to fill ‘er up. Not surprisingly, he’s been charged with possession of marijuana and other drugs.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Phoenix, New York, where bozo John Aldridge was pulled over by the cops under suspicion of drunken driving. Before the officer was able to reach the car, our bozo jumped out and ran, disappearing into the nearby neighborhood. The cops spent about twenty minutes combing the area, to no avail. Then, one of the officers heard the sound of snoring coming from underneath a backyard deck. Yep, our bozo had found a comfy hiding place and had fallen sound asleep. He’s been charged with DUI, speeding and resisting arrest.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Minocqua, Wisconsin, where bozo John Sanders called 911 to report that his mobile home was on fire. Local firefighters and police raced to the scene and, after the fire had been extinguished, one of the firefighters noticed something strange. In spite of the fact that the fire had done significant damage to the home, an object on the dining room table had survived. And that item was…a bag of marijuana. Another bozo busted!

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report. From Tempe, Arizona, comes the story of bozo Thomas Watkins who was upset when another driver cut him off in traffic. So upset that he reached down and grabbed a gun he was carrying in the car and waved it at the other driver. Satisfied that he had scared the other guy, he was putting the gun away when he accidentally shot himself. And he’s a pretty good shot, too. Police plan on arresting him as soon as he’s released from the hospital.

Bozo criminal for today comes from the Bozo Disgruntled former employee file. From Orland Park, Illinois, comes the story of bozo Silvia Dover who was upset at being fired from her former place of employment so she went back late one night and let herself back in with a key she had kept. Security tapes showed her carrying stuff out of the building for the next couple of hours. Then, the inevitable happened. On one of her trips outside, the door blew shut, locking her purse, car keys and other belongings inside. Oops. She’s under arrest.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Columbus, Ohio, where another bozo was foiled by modern technology. Keith Starkey was trying to rob a Wendy’s Restaurant and was having problems because employees couldn’t open the safe, which was on a timer. Already frustrated while waiting for the safe to open, our bozo screamed at one of the employees when her Bluetooth cell phone rang. What he didn’t realize was that his scream had caused the phone to automatically answer, allowing the person on the other end of the line to hear everything that was going on. She quickly figured out the situation and called the cops, who arrived while our bozo was still waiting for the safe to open.

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Joey Schwartzman for sending in today’s report. From Lakehurst, New Jersey comes the story of bozo Benjamin Green who stepped outside his house to smoke some marijuana. Which might have been OK except for the fact that his back yard faces the police station parking lot, separated only by a chain link fence. An officer heading home noticed the familiar smell wafting into the parking lot, spotted our bozo and busted him.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Akron, Ohio, where bozo Michael Kovaks tried to hold up a couple of people outside a video store. His choice of weapon was a bottle of cologne that he had colored black with a magic marker in an effort to make it resemble a gun. In the ensuing scuffle, the bottle broke and our bozo ran away. When the officers arrived on the scene, they didn’t have any trouble tracking him down. They literally just had to follow their noses.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Buffalo, New York, where bozo Bernard Flowers picked the worst possible place to stash his drugs. Police officers were checking out drug activity in our bozo’s neighborhood and he got nervous. They watched as he walked up to a cardboard box and placed a packet containing a white substance into it. And of all the boxes to hide your dope in, our bozo had selected a donut box. Of course the officers had to check out a donut box. And of course he was placed under arrest.

Bozo criminals for today come from Benzie County, Michigan, where two unidentified bozos had a plan to rob a local convenience store. All they needed to complete the heist was an accomplice. So, they went to the store and told the clerk the details of their plan and that they’d be back within two hours to pull off the robbery. Only one problem, they failed to confirm that the clerk was on board with the scheme. She wasn’t. Instead of helping our bozos, she called the cops who were waiting for them when they returned with masks and guns. Busted!

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Eric Tuggle for sending in today’s report. From Louisville, Kentucky, comes the story of bozo Allen Watkins who walked into the local bank and told the teller he needed to make a withdrawal. She got some information from him, including his actual Social Security number, before he made it clear he was making a forcible withdrawal, threatening her with a gun. He got away with some cash, but she got away with his Social Security number. He’s under arrest.