Monthly Archives: March 2025

Bozo criminal for today comes from Palm Bay, Florida, where police were called to a report of a trespasser at a shopping center. Upon arrival, they found bozo Christopher Mason, 40, in full Ronald McDonald gear complete with a red and white striped shirt and yellow vest and pants. No red shoes were seen, however. As the cop approached, he said, “You look like a clown.” To which our bozo replied, “No s**t. I AM a clown, stupid.” Well, maybe so, but you’re still trespassing. A body search turned up a orange replica gun and, in a backpack, other clown outfits and a pack of 10 red noses. The charges are nothing to laugh about, however. Trespassing, a misdemeanor and resisting officers with violence, a felony. This isn’t his first run-in with the law as he has previous convictions for trespass, resisting arrest, and possession of drug paraphernalia after being arrested outside a McDonalds.

Our bozo story for today comes from the jurisprudence file. A judge in Grand Blanc Township, Michigan has cancelled plans for bozos convicted of shoplifting from the local Walmart to wash the cars of customers in the store parking lot. Citing “safety, liability, insurance and ethical concerns” the judge ordered the free car wash be put off pending further study. The Bozo Report hereby offers this solution: Have them wash the cars naked so there will be no place to hide any pilfered articles. Problem Solved. You’re Welcome.

Over the years, there is one thing that has become obvious to us here at the Bozo Report: Bozos and nakedness go together like peanut butter and jelly. Or something like that. And today’s report from Bozo News Hawk Anthony Lucero confirms just that. Police in Bargersville, Indiana, were called to a report of a break-in in progress. When they arrived, they found our bozo inside the vehicle, nekkid as jaybird. He climbed out of the car, and with minimal things for the cops to grab hold of, managed to escape and lead them on a merry chase through the streets of Bargersville. Eventually he was corralled and arrested. Charged with theft, resisting law enforcement, unlawful entry of a motor vehicle, disorderly conduct and indecent exposure. Not surprisingly, cops say drugs may have been involved.

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Craig Sullivan for sending in today’s report from Indianapolis, Indiana. It was just another day at Indianapolis International Airport until bozo George Sloan showed up at the TSA checkpoint and triggered an alarm that required further screening. The TSA officer began the pat-down and there must have been something that wasn’t to our bozo’s liking, leading him to call the officer a “freak” four times. But things didn’t stop there. When the officer asked our bozo to remove his belt, he went into an impromptu striptease, dropping into a squat and shaking his butt at security staff. Officers were called and upon arrival our bozo said, “What do you want to see?” and dropped his pants and underwear to his ankles, giving he whole airport the full frontal nudity treatment. And as a final insult, he shoved his underwear in the TSA officer’s face before tossing it in the general direction of police officers. At this point, his free strip show came to an end. He was arrested and, given his prior criminal history, was sentenced to 33 months in jail.