Monthly Archives: January 2025

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Craig Sullivan for sending in today’s report from Bullhead City, Arizona. It seems there had been a couple of bank robberies in town recently, leading to the release of surveillance photos from the heists. The photos were pretty clear, too, and even included a picture of the robber’s getaway truck. And to help with the investigation a $1000 reward was being offered for information leading to the arrest of the suspect. Pretty much straightforward stuff, and then the true bozo nature of the suspect was revealed. It seems a concerned citizen had recognized our bozo robber from the photos that had been made public and, as luck would have it, he happened to encounter said bozo. We’re not exactly sure what happened next, but it would seem the concerned citizen called the robber out and even pointed a gun at him. Well, this was just too much for our bozo to take. He fled the scene and went straight to police headquarters. No, not to turn himself in, but instead to complain to the cops that someone had the NERVE to accuse him of being a bank robber and had threatened him with a gun. Bad, bad idea. The cops recognized him as well and executed a search warrant on his vehicle. His truck contained all of the clothing, including the sunglasses, hat and masks, that matched what he wore during the robberies. Detectives also discovered the notes he had used to demand money from the bank tellers. Busted! And booked into jail on two bank robbery charges.

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Anthony Lucero for sending in today’s report from Los Angeles, California. It would seem we have our first ever violation of Bozo Rule #987767 which states: You can’t carjack a driverless car. In case you don’t know, LA has several driverless Waymo robotaxis prowling the streets. Our bozo hopped in and attempted to commandeer the vehicle but he was thwarted by remote technicians who disabled the car. Stumped by this technology, our bozo seemingly didn’t know what to do and remained inside. Maybe he was threatening to yank out the computer’s chips. Anyway, he stayed in the car until police arrived in riot gear. He was removed and placed under arrest.

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report from the International File in Qualicum Beach, Vancouver Island, British Columbia, Canada. On New Year’s Eve around 5:30 p.m., police received a report of a possible drunken driver. When the cops arrived they found not one, but two vehicles stopped on the side of the road. Apparently our bozo had decided to take matters into his own hands and was instructing the alleged drunken driver to go no further. Officers determined the first driver to be sober and merely having trouble driving in the dark. Our bozo on the other hand was found to be intoxicated and was arrested. His car was impounded for 30 days and he was prohibited from driving for 90 days. And maybe the judge should have issued a Mind Your Own Business order also.