Monthly Archives: October 2024

Bozo criminals for today attempted to take advantage of the recent hurricane damage in Florida. As Hurricane Helene was approaching, many areas of Madiera Beach were closed to public access. One of those areas was a strip center whose tenants included a realtor, a gift shop selling crystals and shark teeth, and a store selling Donald Trump merchandise. Now, if you are a couple of bozos and want to make a quick buck selling stolen merchandise, which place would you hit? If you guessed the Trump store, you’re right! They didn’t get far as one of our bozos just couldn’t resist wearing that nice Trump cowboy hat he had just pilfered. When the cops approached and asked what they were doing with all the Trump stuff, they offered up the Bozo Excuse of the Week. They told them it “washed up in the hurricane.” Sorry you’re busted! Charged with burglarizing an unoccupied structure, a felony, and loitering and prowling, a misdemeanor. They are each locked up in the county jail in lieu of $2500 bond and have been ordered by a judge to stay away from the Trump store.

Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Don Reese for sending in today’s report from Pawnee County, Oklahoma. Bozo Cody Alexander was scheduled to appear in court on charges of unauthorized use of a motor vehicle. One problem…he had no means of transportation to get to court. So he headed down to the local OnCue convenience store and began asking strangers if they could give him a lift. When he found no takers, his mind went into full Bozo mode. Looking around the parking lot, he spotted a Lifenet Emergency Medical Services vehicle that was left running and unattended. That was just too much to resist. He hopped in the truck and drove more than 30 miles to court. During the drive, the truck’s owners reported the vehicle as stolen, and, as luck would have it, a trooper just happened to be driving by the courthouse and noticed the truck parked outside. The officer went inside and our bozo was placed under arrest. But wait, the story doesn’t end there. The cop asked our bozo what time his court appearance was scheduled for and allowed him to wait comfortably in the cruiser until he was due to appear. He then walked him in, handcuffed. Not the best look.