Yearly Archives: 2004

Bozo criminal for today comes from the International File in Bremen, Germany where an unidentified bozo dressed himself up as Dracula, complete with a cape, cap, sunglasses and vampire teeth. He armed himself with a toy gun and headed for the nearest bank. Unfortunately, he encountered a police patrol car in the bank parking lot. The count pointed his toy gun at the officers and continued on his way. Bad idea. The cops had him under arrest before he ever even made it to the front door.

Bozo criminal for today violated seldom used Bozo Rule number 10,976: It’s not a good idea to be a big tipper when you’re using stolen money. From Albany, New York comes the story of bozo Robert Parks who took a cab down to the bank and then had the cabbie wait while he held it up. When he returned with his cash, he had the driver head to a nearby shopping mall. When they got there, our bozo gave the driver $170 and told him to keep the change. The cab driver was suspicous of the large tip, flagged down a passing patrol car and told them what had happened. The cops put two and two together and arrested our bozo while he was still shopping inside the mall.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Wilmette, Illinois where bozo Jacob Henson broke into a house and stole a set of keys and a new BMW belonging to the homeowner. For reasons known only to the bozo mind, he returned to the same house the very next night where he was wounded when an already nervous homeowner fired a shot at him. He was arrested when he drove himself to the hospital in the stolen BMW.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Jasper County, Alabama where bozo Derwood Jackson was arrested shortly after he dropped off a large bag of teddy bears as a donation to the local sheriff’s department toy drive. The problem…our bozo had forgotten that he used one of the bears as a hiding place for his stash of marijuana. A half pound of it to be exact. Busted!!!

Bozo criminal for today comes from the International File in Dalsland, Sweden where an unidentified bozo broke into a paper plant and stole $25,000 worth of computers. Police are confident they’ll have no problem catching him since he left behind a sample of his DNA. Our bozo used the toilet before he left and forgot to flush.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Minneapolis, Minnesota where bozo Bob Franklin ventured out on Christmas morning. We’re not sure exactly how he got himself into this fix, but he found himself naked and stuck in a one foot by one foot chimney leading into a bookstore. (Maybe he was trying to be a Bad Santa?) Anyway, police rescued him before anything bad happened. It was when he was being arrested that he came up with the Bozo Excuse of the Month. He told the cops that he went into the chimney to find keys that he had dropped.

(Best of Bozo) Bozo criminal for today may not have actually committed a crime, but he’s a bozo nonetheless. From the Anti War Department in Olympia, Washington comes the story of bozo Jody Miller who wanted to protest U.S. involvement in the war in Iraq by chaining himself to a U.S. Department of Energy building. However, he was somewhat confused about just which building it was and mistakenly padlocked himself to a building housing an organization that helps farmers and people in rural areas. After he discovered his error, he also discovered that he didn’t have the key to his padlock. Police brought in heavy duty bolt cutters and sent him home.