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Bozo criminal for today comes from Brunswick, Georgia, where our unidentified bozo was attending court to seek battery charges against her son-in law. It was while she was waiting for her turn before the judge that an uncontrollable bozo urge came over her. For reasons known only to the bozo mind, she removed every stitch of her clothing, including her shoes and, while another case was being heard, stood up and said, “I want to plead not guilty.” The judge quickly ruled that she was out of order since there were no charges filed against her. She was covered up, placed under arrest and escorted from the courtroom.

Our bozo criminal for today from Wesley Chapel, Florida, just wanted to check his Facebook without being bothered. Bozo Doyle Harper says his wife kept talking and sitting right next to him and he just wanted a little peace and quiet. So, at the end of his rope, he did what any bozo would do. He called 911. The police, while sympathetic to his problems, explained that the 911 line was not to be used for that purpose. He was charged with misuse of 911 and now has 60 days of peace and quiet in jail.

Bozo criminal for today comes from Southington, Connecticut,  where our unidentified bozo thought he would take advantage of the high prices for scrap metals.  So he broke into a local facility and was in the process of loading about 700 pounds of metal on to his truck when things went terribly wrong.  He accidentally made a “pocket dial” call from his cell phone.  And the call went to…911.  He’s busted!

Our bozo criminal for today teaches us that it’s not safe to drive drunk anywhere, not even at a hockey rink.  From Apple Valley, Minnesota comes the story of bozo Joel Brown who had a few drinks at home before driving to the ice rink, where he worked as the Zamboni operator.  Police were called to the arena after reports of a man driving the ice-smoothing machine erratically and running into the boards when trying to negotiate a turn.  After failing a breathalyzer test, our bozo was charged with drunken driving.

As anyone who has ever had to sit through bad karaoke knows, it can be hard to take, but our bozo for today added a complete new level of uncomfortableness.

From Melbourne, Florida, comes the story of bozo Jeffrey Taylor who was taking part in karaoke night at the local Applebees when, in a moment of bozo inspiration, decided to add stripping to his repertoire.

He began removing his clothes as he continued singing. Fortunately for his audience, the manager was having none of it and he tried to stop him. Our bozo wasn’t willing to take no for an answer and a fight ensued, with the police being called and our bozo charged with battery and disorderly conduct.