Was It Regular or Extra Spicy?

  • 1 min read

Bozo criminal for today comes from St. Petersburg, Florida, where the cops were called to a report of a disturbance at a residence. Upon arrival, they found a messy scene. The walls and floor had red spatters all over them and the victim had the same red material in her hair. Don’t get ahead of us here…the red spatters are not blood. They are…spaghetti sauce. The victim, the sauce hurling assailant’s mother, told police her son had become upset with her and had thrown his Sunday supper bowl of spaghetti at her. Our bozo fled the scene when cops arrived, attempting to hide behind a bush in the backyard. He was quickly taken into custody and charged with domestic battery and resisting an officer. This isn’t his first run-in with the law, either. He has a previous conviction for “throwing a deadly missile into a building.” The missile in this case was an empty Heineken bottle tossed after being asked to leave a party. A judge has ordered him to have no contact with his mother, and additionally he was placed on a soft food diet.