Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Catamount for sending in today’s report from the International File in the Fujian province in China. You’re no doubt familiar with smartphone stores that have the newest phones on display, attached to the counter by a metal cable. Our bozo had the solution to this problem. Cut the cable. With her teeth. Yep, security cam footage showed her gnawing on the metal cable when she thought no one was looking. She must have some powerful chompers, because a few minutes later both she and the phone were gone, with only a shredded cable left behind. Unfortunately for her the cops were able to track her down before she was even able to enjoy her new phone. And the Bozo Excuse of the Week? She said she entered the store with the intention of buying a new phone but the sticker shock left her so exasperated that she decided to take matters into her own hands. Or in this case, her own teeth. Busted!