Bozo criminal for today comes from Eagle Lake, Michigan, where the cops were called to a report of a domestic disturbance. Upon arrival, they found the victim, somewhat stunned from the attack and with some sort of “residue” in his hair. Further investigation found the attacker, his girlfriend, who is also our bozo, and the source of the residue. A whole chicken. Apparently the two had gotten into an argument and she attacked him with the first thing she found, which was the bird. The report does not state whether the poultry was raw or cooked. Her goose, however, is cooked. She’s been charged with domestic assault and obstructing police.