Before we get to today’s report, a special Bozo Report Salute to whoever came up with the state of South Dakota’s new slogan in the ongoing war against drugs. Over an outline of the great state of South Dakota, in bold print, the new slogan, “Meth. We’re on it.” Rewrite!!! Now, on to today’s story from St. Petersburg, Florida, where the cops arrested 5-foot-9, 380 pound bozo Martin Simpson after officers caught him with a 28-gauge needle full of drugs at the local McDonalds. The poor soul who drew the job of doing a full body search at headquarters noticed a plastic bagging sticking out of his belly button. Further inspection found it to contain methamphetamine. His excuse, he was “just being dumb and not thinking.” We would agree.
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How does a meth addict get to be 380 lbs, wth!?