Bozo criminal for today comes from Van Buren, Arkansas, where the cops received a 911 call reporting a case of underage drinking at a residence. When they arrived, a young man came out with his hands up. The cops observed that he seemed to be a little drunk, but not to the point of passing out, so they encouraged him to just go back inside and sleep it off. When he declined, they asked to talk to the person who had called in the report. And that’s when our bozo said, “Me.” Right. The 18-year-old had apparently been drinking alone at home and started feeling guilty so he called the cops on himself. Once again, the cops told him to just go back inside. Once again he refused. Under Arkansas law, anyone charged with public intoxication must be jailed for a minimum of six hours, so he was hauled off to jail.