Looks Like He Laid an Egg, Chief

The Bozo Criminal Report returns from a brief vacation with this story from the International File in Ottawa, Canada, where bozo Damien Richardson seemed to have a good plan. Knowing that marijuana can be sold in prison for up to 10 times its street value, our bozo acquired a good amount of pot and eight Kinder Surprise eggs. If you’re not familiar with these eggs, they are a chocolate treat that comes with a toy tucked inside, in a small, flexible yolk colored capsule. And due to their size and flexibility, they are one of the most popular ways to sneak contraband into jails by stuffing it up the old behind. Fully loaded with eggs, our bozo now had to find a quick way to get arrested, so he picked up a rock and threw it at a police cruiser. That did the trick and he was hauled off to jail. But there was one small detail he didn’t know about. Jail policy was to hold suspicious inmates in a “dry” cell, one without running water or plumbing, to see what might pass. And nature did indeed take its course as our bozo passed the eggs and one unfortunate guard had to collect them. He’s busted!