Bozo criminal for today comes from Waterville, Maine, where bozo Eric Lucas had a plan to spend the night in a fitness center. Things went well initially, he entered the club just before closing time and said he needed to use the bathroom. He then hid when the employees looked for him before locking up for the night. After they left, he made himself at home, stripping down to his shorts, stuffing an iPad into his backpack and amusing himself by looking through some paperwork at the first desk. Then, he decided to call Dominos and order himself a pizza, and sending several to the police department as well. So far, so good, that is until motion sensors inside the club started sending alarms to the cops. When the police arrived, our bozo tried to pass himself off as the security guard. No dice. He’s under arrest.