Bozo criminal for today comes from the International File in Glasgow, Scotland, where our unidentified bozo brandished one of the strangest weapons ever. He walked into a store and pointed a cucumber, which he had concealed in a black sock, at a clerk and demanded cash. The clerk declined and our bozo headed for the exit where he was stopped by an off-duty police officer who had seen the whole thing. He tried to claim it was all a joke, but the judge didn’t see it that way. He was convicted of assault with intent to rob.