Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Fred McKinney for sending in today’s report from Seattle, Washington. 19-year-old bozo Chad Wilson stopped to pet someone’s dog outside CenturyLink Field on Sunday. This is not newsworthy except that when he was done petting the dog, he left his briefcase behind. The dog’s owner noticed too late to give it back to our bozo and instead handed it over to a police officer who was directing traffic outside the stadium. Hoping to find the name of the owner the cop opened the briefcase and instead found four large bags and 27 smaller bags of cocaine, a total of 154 grams, plus the man’s ID card, cell phone, a scale, 50 Valium pills and a small amount of marijuana. A traveling drug store. It didn’t take long for our bozo to realize what he had left behind. He returned to the scene and asked officers if anyone had found a briefcase, which he claimed contained some “important papers.” Rolling papers, maybe. He’s busted!