Bozo criminal for today comes from Alpena, Michigan, where the cops were called to a residence on a report of a burglary. The homeowner said she heard a racket in her kitchen, where she found our bozo. It seems several things had been broken and a big tray of cupcakes had been overturned, but by the time the cops arrived our bozo was nowhere to be seen. She was able to give a description of the suspect, but it turned out not to be needed as our bozo was hard to miss. The police report described her as “highly intoxicated” with “cupcake frosting and cake all over her torso and legs.” Betty Crocker was arrested and taken to jail.