Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Daniel Pierce for sending in today’s report from Troutdale, Oregon. It seems bozo Nathaniel Martinez was arrested by the cops for shoplifting. After booking, he was released, but he cops decided to confiscate his skateboard. This didn’t sit well with our bozo, and it let him to formulate his bozo plan to get it back. He returned to the police station and, finding the front door to be locked, began tugging on the handle. Surveillance cameras caught him putting his legs up against the door for extra leverage and tugging with all his might. When the handle snapped, he went flying backward, landing roughly on the ground. He then staggered to his feet and walked away, taking the broken handle as a souvenir. Unfortunately for him, the cops got a good look at his face during the attempted break-in and attempted burglary, criminal mischief and theft charges were added to the shoplifting charge.