Thanks to Bozo News Hawk “Sharkey” for sending in today’s report from Plains Township, Pennsylvania. Police were called to a report of a vehicle that struck a stop sign and several concrete barriers. They found an unoccupied Chevy and an eyewitness that said the driver fled the car after the crash and was carrying a box of pizza. And, sure enough, on the ground was the incriminating evidence…several pieces of pepperoni. The cops then spotted our bozo in a residential yard up the street, munching on a piece of pizza. Busted! He’s been charged with DUI.