Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Bob Hammond for sending in today’s report from Portland, Oregon. Police were called to a local Toys R Us store after receiving reports of a man there attempting to assault customers with a Star Wars Light Saber. Police tried to arrest the would-be Darth Vader but he kept swinging his light saber at them. He was even able to avoid being tased by knocking one of the wires away with his saber. Finally the officers were able to wrestle him to the ground and take his weapon. He’s under arrest. None of the victims of the light saber attack needed medical attention.