Bozo criminal for today comes from the Bozo Lonely Hearts Club file. From Alliance, Ohio, comes the story of bozo Audrey Simmons who called 911 five times within the space of a couple of hours. Not because she had an emergency. Because she didn’t have a husband. Yep, she called 911 to ask the operator to help her find a husband. 911 provides a number of services but matchmaking ain’t one of them. She’s been charged with improper use of the 911 system.