A couple of sure signs the holidays aren’t far off: Decorations are up in the stores, and we have our first report of a bozo stuck in a chimney. From Topeka, Kansas, comes the story of bozo Jose Rios who attempted to burglarize a tobacco shop by entering Santa-style through the chimney. He quickly learned it’s not as easy as Santa makes it look when he became stuck. After about four hours he was able to maneuver himself into a position where he could reach his cell phone, which he used to call his daughter, who notified the police. Cops first rescued, and then arrested him.