The Bozo Criminal for today comes from East Providence, Rhode Island, where bozo Chuck Haney was arrested and charged with attempted burglary. Attempted being the key word here because our bozo was physically unable to complete the crime after breaking in. You see, the bozo broke into a gas station by diving headfirst into a plate glass window. He was too injured to steal anything but not so injured that the cops couldn’t take him to the emergency room to be stitched up before hauling him into jail.