Our bozo for today from St. Petersburg, Florida, committed perhaps the most heinous holiday crime since Grandma got flattened by that reindeer. Cops were called to a residence on Christmas Eve on a report of domestic battery. The police found our victim recuperating on the couch with “numerous scratches on his upper body and arms.” It seems the man and his girlfriend got into an argument over infidelity when the woman picked up the family Christmas tree and began to give the man a holiday thrashing. Oh Tannenbaum indeed. She’s been charged with domestic battery and booked into jail and they both have been ordered to have no contact with each other. No word on the fate of the tree.