No, His Name Wasn’t Amos Moses

Here at the Bozo Report, we generally try to leave stories involving fatalities to the Darwin Awards, but we just can’t omit this one From Melbourne, Florida comes the story of a bozo thief, who shall remain unidentified out of respect to his family. He left home and told his girlfriend he was going out to commit some burglaries. The cops were called to the area after reports of a man in black being seen prowling the neighborhood. Deputies reported hearing “yelling” but could not find the source of the sound. The next morning when his girlfriend reported our bozo had not returned home, the cops returned to the area and made a gruesome discovery. It seems our bozo had an unfortunate encounter with an alligator when he ran into the swamp to hide from the cops. Gator had an unfortunate end as well, as he was euthanized so that the remains could be removed for identification. RIP, the both of you.