Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Glen Snow for sending in today’s report from Seabrook, New Hampshire, where police were called to a report of a convenience store robbery. The crime scene was somewhat unusual. The store had indeed been robbed, and the getaway car was still outside, but our bozo thief was nowhere to be found. A K-9 team picked up the scent and led the officers to a black backpack, a key that appeared to go to the getaway car, a silver cell phone, a pair of sunglasses, and a piece of shirt that had been used as a mask. Just when it seemed that our thief had vanished into thin air, the dogs turned their attention to a nearby tree. Sure enough, there was our bozo, holding on for dear life. When he came down, he explained how he got into such a situation. It seems that during his hasty exit from the convenience store, he managed to lose his keys, so he did the logical thing. He climbed the nearest tree. He’s under arrest.