Maybe It Should Be Missabrain

Bozo criminal for today from Quilcene, Washington, has the distinction of having one of the most unusual names ever, Ulysses Corwin Nevermissashot. Bozo Nevermissashot allegedly robbed a bank teller at gunpoint, getting away with an undisclosed amount of cash. As he fled on foot, witnesses noticed him throw away a cigarette, which the police retrieved, which contained his DNA. But he wasn’t through dropping evidence. He also tossed a black plastic bag which contained the fingerprints of his roommate, who confirmed to the cops that she was missing a box of black plastic bags. Mr. Nevermissashot is presently under arrest.