Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Stephen Stewart for sending in today’s report from Boaz, Alabama, featuring our Bozo Award for Persistence. Bozo Matthew Tucker was involved in an accident and was taken by ambulance to a nearby hospital. Our bozo obviously had no interest in sticking around the emergency room, as, after having been there a short time, he persuaded the staff to let him go outside for a cigarette. Once outside, he hopped into an idling ambulance and sped away. He didn’t speed very far before running off the road and getting the ambulance stuck. Not one to give up, he headed to a nearby barn where he tried to saddle a couple of horses. Failing in this attempt, he stole an SUV that was parked nearby and promptly crashed it. He then found a second SUV to steal and managed to use it to drive himself home. The next morning, still suffering from the effects of the initial car crash, he drove the stolen SUV back to the emergency room for treatment. Bad idea. The staff recognized him and he was promptly placed under arrest.