Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Mike Sheffield for sending in today’s report. From the International File in Juan de Acosta, Colombia, comes the story of three bozos who were planning a heist from a local store. First they needed a getaway vehicle, so they stole a 10-year-old donkey to serve as their pack mule. But, unfortunately for them, they did not ask the donkey if he wanted to be an accomplice, as we shall soon see. Our bozos led the donkey to the shop and had him wait outside while they broke in and stole rum, oil, rice, cans of tuna and sardines. When they began to load their loot on to the back of the donkey he began to let out a series of “hee-haws” in protest. The loud protestations continued until local cops came to investigate the ruckus. Our bozos were placed under arrest. Our hero the donkey was safely returned to his owner, but not before being detained by the cops for 12 hours. Guess it took that long for him to give a statement.