Thanks to Bozo News Hawk Barbara Goldstein for sending in today’s report, apparently featuring a hungry gang of redneck bozos. Our bozos broke into a mobile home, walked right past the 42-inch flat screen TV and headed straight to the kitchen. Once there, they went through the cabinets. The items reported stolen are as follows: a box of Cap’n Crunch cereal, a package of hot link sausages, a loaf of Sunbeam bread, a tub of Country Crock spread, a package of Velveeta cheese and a roll of Pillsbury Grand biscuits (what, no Cheetos?). Police are still looking for our well-fed bozos.