Bozo criminal for today comes from the Bozo Lonely Hearts Club file in Palm City, Florida. Bozo Derrick Caldwell called the cops and told them that two armed men stole his vehicle’s GPS device and then bound him at the hands and ankles with zip ties. Inconsistencies in our bozo’s story made the officers suspicious and, upon further investigation, they found a bundle of the same zip ties in his truck. After additional questioning, our bozo admitted he’d faked his own robbery to try to get sympathy from his girlfriend, who had just broken up with him. The cops were no more sympathetic to him than she was. He’s under arrest for false report of a crime.