Thanks to Bozo News Hawk David Alford for sending in today’s report. From Colorado Springs, Colorado comes the story of bozo Ashanti Barker who shoplifted a flat screen TV from an electronics store. Realizing that the security guard had spotted him, our bozo asked for a ten second head start before he called the police. Maybe he should have asked for a ten minute head start instead. He only made it to the McDonald’s a block away before the cops caught up with him.